Without You
by vkxriv
Summary: A short fic following Quil and Claire. "Quil she's not dead" He knew that those words would anger me. "Don't you see Sam… but she is dying". A story of separation, hurt and comfort.
1. Part 1

Hi all, I've been obsessed with imprint stories for a while now and thought its about time I write one. Hope you enjoy, would love to hear what you think.

Obviously I don't own anything, except this storyline.

More details at the end of this chapter. It's going to be a long one.

 **Part 1**

I sat in the waiting room, looking only at my hands.

I didn't want to be here.

The lights were too bright and it was suffocating. My inner wolf hated this place and so did I.

Tom walked over to me and sat on the chair beside me with a sigh.

I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I already knew from his grim expression what he was trying to say.

"Quil, I don't know what to do"

I was shaking involuntarily, I wondered if I was cursed or something.

How could this be happening to me… how could I survive this… did I want to survive this?

I could hear her crying from the other room and I felt sick to my stomach. I ran out of the waiting room and threw up in a patch of green in front of the hospital. Tom was behind me, but I ran off without looking at him. Claire's cries were still echoing in my head but I couldn't go and comfort her, not when I was this upset.

I did what I always did and ran for the woods, phasing as I got deeper and deeper into the green abyss.

My mind was clouded with Sam and Embry's voices, since they were patrolling.

They felt my pain but I didn't want them to feel the darkness and hopelessness I felt, so I phased back and sat on the edge of a cliff. I could see the reservation, the land of my ancestors going on for miles. I heard Sam sit next to me and take a deep breath in.

"Quil she's not dead"

He knew that those words would anger me.

"Don't you see Sam… but she is dying"

He opened his mouth to talk back but before he could, I felt my anger brimming. I stood up and pushed him.

"Don't you see that your stupid theories were all fucking wrong… I imprinted on a two year old and now when I've finally accepted how fucked up this is, she's going to be taken away from me"

I kept pushing Sam but he neverfought back, I wondered what repercussions I would face for fighting my alpha but I didn't care enough.

"I'm supposed to protect her Sam, Vampires and anything else I can handle but how am I supposed to protect her from this huh?"

I had started hitting a boulder and was one punch away from breaking it but Sam ordered me to stop.

"She's young Quil, she's only five she can fight this"

"She shouldn't have to fight anything, isn't that why I'm here?"

Sam had nothing to say to that, he knew it didn't make sense, nothing in the last ten years or so had. Sam thought his theories made sense and they did until Quil and Jacob imprinted.

Sam had felt Quil's pain even though he tried to mask it, he couldn't imagine it, the pain of knowing he couldn't help his imprint.

Quil didn't like to show weakness infront of his alpha, so Sam did the respectable thing and left him alone.

Quil stayed there and watched the sun set and for the first time in a long time he prayed. He didn't know who he was praying to, but he prayed for Claire.

….

Quil ran back to Sam's house and as he got nearer he saw Tom and Sarah's family car parked in the drive way. He opened the door, almost hesitantly, unsure of the atmosphere but to his surprise everyone was acting like their usual selves. A few of the pack members were there too, eating away and laughing with Tom while Sarah and Emily were talking and laughing at the table.

"Qwilll!" Claire had spotted him and ran to him.

He picked her up just before she ran into him and threw her in the air as he always did.

It was then that everyone turned to stare, especially the pack members since they all felt and tried to understand his pain. Tom and Sarah were avoiding looking at him though, which made him feel uneasy.

"Qwil where were you? I went to the big hospital and then the doctor gave me a lollipop but mom didn't let me eat it"

She happily babbled on about her day like any five year old and before he could even sit down she fell fast asleep in his arms. He chuckled to himself lightly, kids were hilarious and he wondered if he was like Claire at the age of 5. She could sleep anywhere and at any time.

"She couldn't take a nap today"

It was Sarah who spoke, "she wouldn't sleep until she saw you", she added through gritted teeth.

Everyone in the room got tense and Emily stood up.

"Right everyone its been a long night and boys off you go to patrol"

Everyone listened to Emily and left as quickly as they could, leaving only Sam, Emily, Tom , Sarah, Quil and a sleeping Claire.

Quil gently put Claire down so she could sleep on the couch.

"It's cancer, brain tumour to be exact"

Sarah was unreadable as she told everyone the diagnosis.

"She starts treatment in two days and I don't know or understand any of this".

I saw Tom reach for her hand and squeeze it.

"When will the treatment be finished?"

It was the first time I had opened my mouth since arriving.

"Depends on how she does"

No one else spoke for a what felt like ages but then Emily got up to make everyone coffee. I needed some air so I stood up to leave.

Just as I was about to leave, Sarah stood up in anger knocking over her coffee cup.

"You can't be more upset than I am Quil and you damn well can't act like your world is ending… I don't give a shit about your imprinting, she's my daughter okay my world is ending"

I was speechless but I couldn't expect her to understand me.

"You think that just because I let you near her, that you have this claim on her? She's just a child who needs her parents, not you"

She was right but at the same time she didn't understand imprinting, hell, neither did I. I just knew that I existed for Claire… to protect her and care for her more than anyone else. It isn't as weird to me after getting over the initial shock of the situation, I am her protector and that is it, she is family to me.

"Sarah its not that simple but it doesn't matter right now, we are all family and we will get through this", I was surprised to hear Tom say that.

He was a great husband and a loving father, I looked up to him more than my own father and I was glad that he didn't hate me.

Sarah remained unapologetic, collecting her things she cuddled Claire and took her to the car, Tom following. I watched as they drove away and I felt uneasy again… this time it was different with Sarah. Sarah was never okay with the imprint, as you would expect of a mother but she knew Quil and trusted Sam. She was still cautious though and very strict with his visits. Quil didn't mind, atleast he got to see Claire.

…..

"Qwil can you tell me a story"

It had been a few months since Claire's diagnosis and she was undergoing chemotherapy. It had been a painful few months, Claire lost a lot of weight and hair. I hadn't had a good nights sleep in a long time, the anxiety of her illness was making me sick to stomach every day.

It was in these last few days that she was showing signs of recovery and improvement and my mood was getting better and better. The pack couldn't stand being near me as I was always angry and mopey, so I couldn't blame them.

"There was a tiny little princess in a land very far away, she had the shortest of hair and the prettiest of eyes… this princess wasn't just any princess, she was the princess of wolves. The wolves protected her from scary monsters and she was always safe with them around" Claire was already fast asleep so I very slowly walked out of her room.

Sarah was in the kitchen, making cupcakes for the staff at the hospital.

"Do you need any help with that?"

"No thanks Quil, I've got it"

Thing were still tense between Sarah and I, I didn't know how to act around her since she was usually hostile towards me.

"I'm heading out to patrol, see you tomorrow"

I usually added the last part as a question; I still wanted to give Sarah the opportunity to let me down because it is her right to.

"Yes Quil see you then. Claire will be home all day, could you baby sit her for me tomorrow while I do the school run?"

"Yes I'll be there" I replied a little too eagerly, excited that she was showing some trust in me.

Sarah eyed me from the corner of her eye as she iced the cupcakes.

"I… apologise for the way I've been treating you. I heard from Sam that it hasn't been easy for you… I know the pack still gives you grief for imprinting on my daughter…I was afraid she'd have no choice with you and now I'm worried whether or not she'll live another year". I could see the tears in her eyes but I couldn't comfort her because I knew that as much as I was suffering she was suffering more. If I had an imprint bond with Claire, Sarah had a mother daughter bond that is even more magical and powerful than the one that binds me to Claire. I couldn't tell her that if in the end something did happen to Claire, I wouldn't be in pain much longer because I wouldn't be able to live without her… how could I say this to her.

"She's getting better Sarah… It's going to be okay"

"You don't even believe what you're saying but thank you… for being here, not just for her but for us too"

I heard her sniffling and still couldn't bring myself to look at her. She walked over to me and handed a piece of paper. The paper was marked with colorful sketches and it wrote 'To Quil my best friend' in the messy way a five year old would write.

"I never considered that she would need you as much as you need her. Sam assured me of your thoughts and I believe him but most importantly I believe in you."

This was the best day of my life after I met Claire, and possibly the only day I felt relieved of this guilt and disgust.

It wasn't a walk in the park for me to accept my imprint, I considered leaving and never returning but I physically didn't think I could. A part of me still hates this, being a wolf and then imprinting on a child and then finding out she is riddled with cancer. But for now I was happy and I would take this happiness at this moment, because I don't know what awaits me.

….

Two years later

Claires 7th birthday was spent in a hospital. It was in the early morning that she was scheduled to have an operation. After two years of on and off chemo, the tumour was small enough and in the right spot to be operated on. I was elated that she would finally be cancer free and worried sick that something might go wrong. I hadn't left her side since she was admitted to hospital, much to the dismay of Sarah. It was just after midnight and I heard Claire shuffling in her bed. I went over to her and was surprised to see her awake.

"Claire bear you should be asleep, it's a big day tomorrow"

"Am I going to die Quil?"

I kept forgetting that Claire was growing up and that she would be more aware of things, even death.

"Now where did you get that from?"

"It's what happens to sick people like me"

"Sick people also get better, they don't all die"

She opened her mouth to speak again but I interrupted.

"Since you're awake and officially seven years old I can give you your present".

She squealed in excitement and I smiled at her little hands going up in the air in excitement.

I took out a little box from my pocket and opened it. Inside was a gold pendant, with a round gold circle that wrote _Claire_. The circle had random holies in it that didn't make up a shape at first glance. I then took out a flashlight from my pocket.

"woahhh its so pretty"

"Want to see something cool?" She nodded eagerly. I held the pendant against the flashlight and shone it to the ceiling. A wolf was reflected on the ceiling.

"That is awesome Quil you're the best"

"Do you know whats the most important part of this present?"

Claire brought her ear closer to me, that little girl loved secrets.

"This is a secret message to you… I'm the wolf and you're Claire and I will always be there with you."

"So Quil you're a wolf" she whispered. I brought my finger to my mouth as a gesture for her to be quiet. She nodded in understanding, her bid doe eyes staring back innocently. She took the pendant from my hands and wore it around her neck.

"Secret… Quil's secret"

Claire added as she tucked the pendant into her hospital robe. Smart girl. Sarah wouldn't be too happy about the present. Well I didn't really know what she'd think and now I didn't have to risk it.

"Do you want to know another secret?"

She nodded.

"I'll tell you another time because for now little princess needs her sleep".

She grumbled but obliged as I tucked her in. She fell back asleep soundly, her little hands tucked underneath her head. I smoothed her short hair, praying to whoever was out there that tomorrow she would be okay.

….

It had been a week since Claire's surgery and she was recovering… it was slow but there was progress. She was under a lot of pain hence why the doctors decided to keep her heavily sedated. She was so out of it and I couldn't stay near her too long. Her unresponsiveness drove my wolf insane, to my wolf it seemed like she was dead. She smelled different too, with all the drugs in her system. The family was elated and hopeful, which helped boost my morale too.

It was during this time though that the entire pack was distracted, I was ordered away since my thoughts were so dark but Claire was still family to everyone. Everyone was distracted and our patrol schedules were lacking. I was sitting beside Claire when I heard the howls; bolting from the sound I ran to the door and told Sarah I had to leave.

I ran as fast as I could and phased. I was bombarded with the thoughts of my pack members, two leeches were on the reserve and they had killed one person. I got to them just as they burned the leeches.

I could feel and hear everyone's guilt echoing in my mind.

The dead human was a stranger to us but we were meant to protect anyone within the reservation.

…..

Another week had gone by and Claire was getting better, she still struggled to communicate. She had a major brain surgery and the doctors assured us that her young age was to her benefit and she would relearn and remember everything easily.

I was sitting in the waiting room for the past week, as Sarah insisted we don't crowd the room and by we she only meant me. After a few minutes I heard her walking towards me with Sam. Sam had a guilty look on his face and I didn't like it one bit. I could have guessed what was coming if I wasn't so distracted by Claire's health.

The both of them told me that they wanted to talk outside.

I followed them out but Sam and Sarah kept walking further and further away.

We finally made it deep into the woods and I was starting to feel nauseous being so far away from Claire.

Sam was the first to speak up.

"Sarah I can't let you do this to him"

"I will regardless"

"Sarah look at the kid, he's sick to his stomach just from being away from her for ten minutes… Don't"

"This is between me and Quil, you're only here for damage control and possibly in case he tries to hurt me… although I'm not quiet sure you're equipped for that"

Sam winced, Sarah was trying to be hurtful and it worked.

I sat down on a fallen tree trunk, feeling dizzy and sick.

"I'm taking Claire to Los Angeles for rehabilitation and I intend on staying there… for good".

She stared at me, maybe hoping I would show a reaction and her point would be proven.

"That man who died last week, it wasn't a mountain lion was it? I want her far away from all of this. The more you guys try to protect us the more bad things happen. I just got my daughter back and I want her to have a life… I don't want her to end up like my sister, Emily. I want her to have the best opportunities and the best life and she can't with you around Quil".

I said nothing.

"Have you thought that it might kill him, to be away from her".

Sam was getting angrier by the second.

"It is a risk I'm willing to take".

Sam looked gobsmacked, wandering how his wife could be related to this heartless person but Emily wasn't a mother, that's what Sam didn't understand.

"The choice is yours Sam and Quil, either we go to Los Angeles and stay there and tell you our address or we go to Los Angeles and move around until you can't find us"

Sarah had really thought this through and I was wandering for how long.

"I don't want you to see Claire! Not until she has her own life. I want her to go to college and have a boyfriend and then get married… I want her to have a normal and safe life. Is that too much to ask?"

I heard everything she said but didn't let my thoughts wander… I wanted her to have a normal life too but with me in it.

"Sarah I… I want you to understand that there's always a choice and Claire doesn't have to choose me. Hell I could be like her older brother for life… But this imprint isn't just one-way Sarah…. As much as I am bound to her, she is bound to me. She'll ask about me and she'll drive you insane."

I was pleading but I knew it was of no use. I couldn't ask a child to choose between her family and me and I wouldn't. I knew I was cursed. If an imprint could be broken I would break mine. I would've broken mine from the start. The pain I feel isn't normal… its not how imprints are meant to be. Or maybe they are… maybe we don't know anything about them. Maybe this is another sick punishment passed on from my family… these stupid genes.

"My decision is final Quil and I am sorry to hurt you but my daughter is the most important person in the world, I don't expect you to understand… call me whatever you want but you know that I love her the most and care for her more than my own life and definitely more than yours".

And with that she left. Her distancing footsteps resounding in my ears… my life was over. I sat still for a while and then threw up. Sam sat beside and wisely didn't say anything. He was at a loss for words and I could feel his sympathy.

"Quil… just know that imprinting doesn't work this way… its beyond our comprehension. It'll all work out".

I was in so much pain I couldn't understand it. Was I in pain or was it my wolf mourning.

"You know if she died I don't doubt that I would have died with her… but this is…. I don't know how I'll live. You know Sam its not love… its devotion and duty. Its not like what you have with Emily… its like me disobeying an order from you… I can disobey it but it might kill me. That how it is… this imprint is a duty… but everything was wrong from the beginning. Sarah is right… this imprint would have ruined her life… I would have ruined her life".

I was spiralling out of control but I knew if I phased my wolf would want to hurt Sarah… or maybe I did.

Sam left me there and I stayed there the entire night. I didn't sleep or talk, I just stared into the darkness hoping it would take me in. I wasn't like the other kids on the Rez, I had no close family. My mother had remarried and moved away, had her own family and my father had waited his whole life to be a shape shifter and lived for it but it never happened to him. He resented me for carrying on the family legacy because he couldn't. Claire's family had become my own… as much as Sarah didn't like the idea of me; I had nothing but affection for her and Tom. I hadn't even thought of Tom but Sarah was too determined, nothing would stand in her way. I didn't want to create a rift between any of them, because I wanted Claire to have a family, something I never had.

 **That's the end of this chapter, folks. This will be a relatively short story I'm thinking four chapters or so.**

 **Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think and any suggestions are welcome. This isn't my first story btw just a new account.**

 **Don't forget to R &R and new chapter will be coming soon. **

**Forever grateful,**

 **VK**


	2. Part 2

**Here we go another chapter and this time its from Claire's POV.**

 **Hope you enjoy.**

 **VK**

 **Part 2**

"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Claire…"

I should've expected this from my family. I walked into the dark living room, illuminated by the candles on my cake and was surrounded by the faces of my family and friends. My mum came over and hugged me tightly, tears in her eyes.

"Make a wish," yelled my little sister.

I held my breath and blew out the candles, hoping this year my wish was granted. Here I was eighteen years old, hoping a candle would grant my wish.

I was bombarded with hugs from family and friends and was a little overwhelmed. My mom had to over do it, it wasn't her style not to. I was a little apprehensive since I begged mom not to do anything, I wasn't much for show or socialising like she wanted me to be.

She wanted me to be a lot of things I wasn't.

The party went on for what felt like six hours when it wasn't even 9 yet, I felt a migraine approaching and decided to go outside for a breather. It was a warm California night. I went out to the deck where I would be alone. I rubbed by temples, hoping that mom wouldn't notice I had a headache. If she did notice I would be in an MRI machine before I can say I'm okay.

I perched on the side of the railing, staring into the night sky. It wasn't long before I heard footsteps and I was relieved to see that it was my dad.

"Princess shouldn't you be inside?"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"You know I didn't want this right?"

"Yep but its not everyday you turn eighteen and graduate from highschool"

He made me sound ungrateful but I wasn't, I was just suffocated.

"How do I break it to mom that I wont be going to UCLA?"

Dad took a deep breath, he was dreading this conversation.

"You might get accepted to UCLA, you never know"

"That's not the point dad, I don't want to go there"

Dad took a swig from his beer, while looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"We'll think about it when the time comes"

I was getting angrier by the second.

"No dad, for once just help me out and believe in me please"

"Claire I-

"You let her get away with everything, I want this… why can't I do what I want"

"No you don't understand.."

"Then make me dad"

I was clenching my fists and I could feel my headache worsen. I just didn't understand them. They were so controlling, by they I mean Sarah and dad just went along with it to appease her. I was like their very own doll, I remember begging them to give me a sibling so she was distracted but alas Sarah will be Sarah.

My little sister is 6 and it took me over a decade to convince mom to have her. If she found out I wanted to go to university in Washington, she would freak out. Freaking out might be an understatement. She was so controlling in some aspects yet not in some, it didn't make any sense to me. I was not allowed to go on school camps, especially out of state, God forbid the east coast ones. I was not allowed to eat or drink certain foods. Yet my mum begged me to go out with guys. They would have to bring me home before sunset, which was around nine pm anyway. My first date was even arranged by her and to say it was a complete disaster would be a lie. It was sweet and cute but I hated that my mum had a hand in it. She gave me the birds and bees talk way too young and after years of me not wanting to date, she told me it would be okay to come out, convinced I must be a lesbian if I'm not jumping boys. She was insane and she didn't even know it. I didn't know how to cook a single meal because all my life my mom prepared my lunch, even in high school. I had never eaten from the cafeteria. She used to make me wear a heart rate monitor at nights to track my sleep patterns. And what's even crazier is that I thought all of this was normal, I thought all mums were like this because she made her obsessiveness seem normal to me. My little sister was practically raised feral, no one still cares what she does and she's six. Luna gets to eat ice cream more often than I do.

Dad had his head down and was staring into his hands.

"Your Aunt Emily called and wished you a happy birthday"

He said the E word.

"Why didn't you let me talk to her?"

"Your mum came home before you did and you know how she is"

Aunt Emily, my mums only sister whom she refuses to see or speak to. I don't remember her much, but she calls every year on my birthday and each year I never get to speak to her. She lives in La Push, where mum was born and raised but refuses to go back. Dad also has family there but mum refuses to go, so our relatives come to us except Emily. I had asked my dad once why she never comes and he just said it was grown up stuff.

"You never did tell me why her and mum don't speak"

Dad scratched his head, trying to find a way to answer me.

"They had a disagreement and once we moved here they naturally drifted".

"They're sisters, how could they?"

"Adult stuff princess beats me too"

I rolled my eyes at him. We used to be able to talk more but I stopped talking to dad after my sixteenth birthday. I told him about the weird and recurring dreams I kept having, he told Sarah and it got out of hand. I had to see a sleep specialist, take sleeping pills and see a psychiatrist for a year until I convinced her they had stopped.

I decided to head back inside, my annoyance with my father was growing.

"Hey where you going princess? We haven't talked in so long"

"You don't hear me dad, even when I talk to you"

I saw the hurt in his eyes but I wasn't feeling sympathetic at all, he didn't even ask where I wanted to go college. He wanted me to accept my fate, the one mum created for me, just like him.

….

Today I would find out if I got into the university of Washington, last week I had been accepted into UCLA and mom was over the moon. She was ecstatic and surprisingly excited for me to move out. She kept rambling on about college parties and dorm life but I wasn't excited over any of that. I just wanted to be alone and figure out what kind of person I was. I wanted to go to a coffee shop during the cold winters, read my favourite novel and not have to hear Sarah's voice in my head. I hated painting such a bad picture of my mum, she loves me to bits and I her but she knew how to drive someone crazy and suffocate them, mainly me.

I opened the browser and saw "Congratulations, you have been admitted to the university of Washington as the class of…"

I didn't know what to do, I was excited and nervous… I was now forced to confront mum.

I had six weeks before I had to leave, six weeks to tell mum and move thousands of miles away from home but for now I wanted to be happy by myself.

I called my bestfriend to give her the good news and she screamed loudly in my ear. She had also been accepted into University of Washington and we had already decided to rent a place together.

"This calls for a celebration, come over to mine in 20 mins"

Typical Tayla. We had been friends since middle school and were inseparable since the day we met. Her family was awesome and I knew that atleast they would congratulate me today.

I quickly hopped in the shower, got ready and headed for the door.

"Mum I'm going out with Tayla, I'm staying there tonight"

She poked her head into the hallway.

"Why are you sleeping over there?"

I rolled my eyes, "because we're going to a party it'll be easier to crash there"

"Okay be safe".

See I told you she was crazy, which mum would prefer her daughter to be out partying than staying indoors and watching Netflix all night.

Talya's mum had outdone herself cooking for us, she had made a chicken roast with vegies, gravy, mash. After the dinner, Talya and I helped clean and then we sprawled on the couch.

"Mama really killed it… I look like I'm pregnant" added Talya while unbotting her jeans.

"Thank you so much for the dinner Mrs Callum"

Mrs Callum and Talya were basically twins, both had similar dark complexions, almond shaped eyes and a soft smile. She always had a lot of food and was the back bone of the family when Talya's dad was gone. He drove trucks across country and was gone a lot of the time. She had raised two daughters on her own and I loved how warm and caring she was. Talya's older sister had her own place with her boyfriend and was around often but I knew Talya worried about her mum when she would be living far away.

"You're most welcome, I have dessert ready for you girls too. I'll be meeting some friends for coffee, don't go too crazy in here". She was patronising us, knowing we would be watching the cringiest films on Netflix.

Once Mrs Callum left, I turned to Talya, "are you worried about her being alone?"

Talya sighed.

"Yes and no. I need to live my own life obviously and I've convinced mum to come see me as often as possible. Well actually I gave her an excuse".

My confusion was evident on my face.

"Do you remember me telling you that my mum was married before?" I nodded.

"Well she had a son with him too but she left him". My mouth dropped in shock.

"I never told you because to be honest most of the time I forget he exists too… she feels so guilty about it". I couldn't imagine someone as warm and kind as Mrs Callum abandoning her own child.

"She was extremely young and stupid… but anyways he lives near Seattle. She has an excuse to see him."

"Woah! Have you ever met him?"

"Tana met him a few years ago, they've loosely kept in touch and I spoke to him over the phone. I actually texted him today about our college acceptance and he congratulated me. He's extremely nice but there's no closeness, especially with mum. She doesn't know how to act with him, but maybe they'll get closer if they get to see each other".

I was proud of how mature and thoughtful my bestfriend was.

"How about you? I'm assuming you didn't tell your mum about Seattle"

I sighed deeply, "she will freak Tayla".

"Tell me again why she hates Seattle?"

"She was born near there, our entire family is there on both sides but I don't know anyone. She never talks about it and freaks out even at the mention of Washington. My memories are so fuzzy from that time because of my brain surgery, but somehow I miss it".

"Girl you on some whimsical shit, I'm dreading the rain already".

We ate popcorn and watched old chick flicks until we both fell asleep on the couch.

I fell into a deep sleep and like most nights, I had dreams that made no sense. I kept seeing a figure and then I would hear the beeps on a heart monitor. I found myself in a meadow, looking at a figure with his face in his hands, leaning against a broken tree trunk. I kept seeing a flashlight; a gold pendant and then I woke up. My dreams were always so vivid and I couldn't make any sense of them.

After waking up, we had pancakes for breakfast and then I headed home. I drove back home and saw bags of rubbish outside. My little sister was playing on the porch, "what's happening bear?" I called my little sister that since she acted like a bear. She was stocky, cute and was always rolling around.

"Mum called it a Spring Cleaning but its summer".

I walked into the house and it looked like someone had broken in, well more like Mom and Dad had a fight and this was how she coped.

"Claire could you get me a few more boxes from my room?"

Mum yelled from the kitchen as I headed for my room.

"Kay… give me a minute"

I sauntered into the master bedroom. The room was crowded with boxes, you would think we were moving but we weren't. Mum had packed dads stuff into boxes, which was her way of threatening him. Something caught the corner of my eye, a small tin box among dad's belongings. I dug the tin box out and popped it open. I smiled at the photo inside, it was me in hospital. I looked happy even with all the machines attached to me. I looked around seven. I took the photo out and read the back, it wrote _Claire Bear, we love you_. Claire bear? No one called me that…. I called my sister that. Under the photo was a gold pendant. The one from my dreams. I held the gold chain in my hand, it wrote my name on it. I had so many questions but I couldn't process this. Whose handwriting was that? Why did I see this pendant in my dreams and more importantly why was this hidden from me.

…..

Dad came home a few hours later with a big bouquet of flowers and he was forgiven. They were being extra lovey dovey and dad decided we should all go out for dinner. We went to a restaurant near by, laughing and enjoying our time together. Both mum and dad were so carefree, I wondered if this was how they were at my age. They kept joking around and I smiled, I would miss this. We ate the food and as we waited for dessert, Abigail begged mum to take her to the kids play area in the restaurant. It was just dad and I sitting and watching them walk away.

"I think while mom's in such a good mood I should tell her"

It sounded more like a question.

"You never told me where you wanted to go"

I scratched my head.

"University of Washington"

Dad drew a breath in.

"Claire anywhere but there"

"Dad but why? The program there is the best in the country and I got in. You know how hard I worked for this? I'm going whether or not you guys approve"

"She won't forgive you Claire, she'll go crazy"

"What am I doing that's so unforgivable?"

Tears were threatening to spill.

"Answer me Claire, what's the real reason you want to go there? It can't just be the program"

Nothing was making sense and my frustration was reaching a breaking point.

"What other reason could I have Dad? Do you realise how irrational you guys are being?"

"We almost lost you Claire, we just don't want to be away from you"

"Dad don't try to guilt trip me, Mum helped me apply to NYU its not that"

Dad started rubbing his neck.

"Not tonight Claire please"

"Can I ask you something else then?"

He nodded tentatively nodded.

"I used to have a gold pendant with my name on it, who gave me that?"

"What pendant? I don't remember anything like that".

Why would he lie to me?

"Really? It was really pretty and had random bits cut out of the circle?"

Just then the server brought out our dessert, dad took a bite.

"Never seen it"

"Really dad, it looks like this"

I pulled the pendant out and showed him. I had caught him in his lie and by the look on his face he knew all about this pendant.


	3. Part 3

**Part 3**

I watched the sun rise over the horizon, speckling the peninsula with orange and pink rays, bouncing off the ocean. I was at the furthest point of our borders, I enjoyed patrolling here the most. It felt like I was at the world's end, with nothing but ocean and rocks. It had been over a decade now since they left and my life was torn apart. When she was sick I felt like I was dying everyday but after they left my pain was indescribable. For the first three years I was sick to my stomach, I couldn't function without feeling sick and tired and was useless to the pack. I used that time to study and take college classes because I couldn't let my mind wander. And then I just stopped feeling. Even when my dead beat father passed away and begged for my forgiveness I couldn't cry because the pain I felt everyday was so much worse. It was like I was in a constant state of agony and that was my norm now. I never went to look for them because if I ever saw her I wouldn't be able to leave. Sarah had kept in touch with Emily a year after they moved but when Emily mentioned how bad I was they had a fight and stopped talking. I saw how sad Emily was through Sam and I knew if I found her it would be worse. No one mentioned her name next to me and I tried not to think it. I tried not to think about how much she has grown or how intelligent and kind she must be.

After five years I returned to the pack, I had a career, a job and I was well enough to patrol again. Some of the pack was preparing to retire and I was prepping and keeping an eye on the new generation.

A part of me didn't want to admit that I went to college and got a job for her but I did because if one day I saw her, I wanted to be able to give advice and help her in anyway that I could. I was an accountant working from home, which made it easier to patrol and be near the pack. I had a successful business and started outsourcing most of my work since I had more commitments with the pack since Sam wanted to retire. He had two sons now and thought it was time for him to start aging with Emily. Most of my friends had multiple kids and to say that our little pack had grown would be an understatement.

I was kind of glad Sam had stopped phasing, he was the only remaining member of the pack besides me with an imprint and seeing his thoughts and connection to Emily threw me off. My imprint had never made sense, even after Jacob imprinted on Reneesme, the circumstances were so different.

Paul and Jared rarely phased too now but we're all family and meet often. I spoil their kids as per my duty as an uncle.

Today was Claire's birthday, her eighteenth to be exact. She would be waiting for college acceptance letters like every other kid her age in the country. Today I let myself wander about what kind of person she might be, what career path had she chosen, what she looked like. I wondered at times what Sarah told her, or had Claire hated me for not being there during her rehabilitation? Or had she forgotten about me like I was a distant memory in her childhood.

I went over to Sam house for breakfast, as I usually did most of the time. I lived two minutes away and milked Emily's cooking skills at every opportunity. As I entered the kitchen, the sight of Sam in an apron trying to flip pancakes greeted me.

"Oh no, who left you alone in the kitchen"

"Very funny Quil, be useful and cut up the strawberries"

Poor Sam had managed to get pancake batter everywhere, even in his hair. I heard Emily in her study and went over to call her for breakfast.

I was about to knock on her door when I heard her speaking.

"I wanted to wish Claire a Happy Birthday… She's not home or you won't let me talk to her?... okay Tom I'm sick of arguing with you and Sarah… I just… we're family Tom"

I could hear the sadness in her voice and I felt responsible for everyone's pain. My imprint didn't bring joy to anyone and Claire had already lost most of her family because of me… she didn't know them because of me.

I didn't feel hungry anymore and I gravitated towards the door.

I ran for what felt like hours and then returned home to work. This was how I coped now, I worked and worked, it was the most effective way I could forget or atleast act like I was okay.

…

I was busy working at my home office when I received a phone call from an unknown number.

"Quil speaking"

"Hi Quil, my name's Tayla not sure if you remember me"

Tayla was my moms youngest daughter, I had met her older sister before when she was visiting Seattle for work but never Tayla. They lived in California and I refused to go there, afraid of my urge to find Claire. My mom had come down to Seattle for my dad's funeral and one look at me and she knew what I was. I wasn't sure if she remembered Dad's obsession but I could tell from her looks that she knew. She had told me about her daughters and they seemed level headed and nice. Had it been the old Quil, I would never have been civil to the woman who abandoned me but I had grown and didn't see her as my mum, but a stranger who I happened to share a blood tie to. I never called her mum or addressed her for that matter but I was civil and even gave her my number. I had a feeling she was in touch with Sue Clearwater, who probably gave updates about me.

"Tayla yes, how are things?"

"Good… moms doing well and Tana is Tana"

I laughed at that. Tana was well and truly a character, she was extremely rude yet lovable and we clicked instantly. Her draw had dropped the minute we met at a café in Seattle and she asked me what kind of steroids I was on. I was surprised by my affection to my half sisters, I didn't know them that well, especially Tayla.

"I got accepted into University of Washington and I wanted to officially meet you, I'll be there in two weeks to apartment hunt… I heard you don't live near Seattle so I could come there I mean if you'll have me"

She mumbled on and I chuckled, Tana had told me Tayla was extremely caring and I could see that.

"Congratulations, ofcourse, I live on the Rez and the weather may be crap but it's a place worth seeing. I can also help you apartment hunting, I've got a friend in real estate".

"Thank you Quil, I'll keep in touch"

"See you around Tayla… have a safe trip over"

…

Today my patience was wearing thin, I was in charge of babysitting the pups. We had two new members to the pack and their tempers were killing me. The new generation fought and argued and phased over anything. We were all at Seth's place and Sam had dropped by to watch us interact and laugh in our faces. He found it hilarious and called it payback for all the headaches we gave him. Seth was now the alpha, since Jacob left the pack and Sam's sons weren't old enough to phase. Seth was a great leader, the responsibility of the pack and Reservation made him mature and I had a newfound respect for him.

The reason why we had this meeting was to inform the pack that Jacob and Nessie would be visiting and they were to not touch them. We gave them a rundown and told them to take their childish fights into the woods.

I heard a car pull up outside and smelt our guests before they even walked in. I walked out onto the porch and Nessie ran up and hugged me.

She looked like an adult but technically she was only twelve. She had stopped growing two years ago and was the definition of trouble.

She was a curious teen and Jacob couldn't keep up with how fast she was growing. Unlike her mum, Nessie had attitude and loved partying too much according to Jacob. He looked worn out, since they had been travelling the country, avoiding staying in one place too long for other vampires to visit. Vampires were intrigued by Nessie and even if they meant no harm, the proximity and smell of vampires was enough for Jacob's wolfish instincts to take over.

"Missed you too Lochness… want to let me breathe"

"Quil can you smack Jacob for me and tell him I don't deserve to be grounded"

Jacob rolled his eyes and walked over to hug me too.

"You're grounding her now Jacob? You're the one who spoilt her rotten"

"Tell me about it, this monster decided to hit up a party last night in Seattle without telling me or anybody for that matter".

The Cullens all lived in Seattle, they had to leave forks because of Bella but they were close enough to see Charlie often and Jacob could come see Billy. They hadn't come to the Rez in a while, mainly because we didn't want any more pups to phase.

Jacob and Nessie were best friends and I could feel my heart getting heavy. I touched my chest from the pain, I had been feeling like that a lot lately. Their bond was indescribable and Jacob had assured me they had no romantic feelings for each other and I could see that but I could also see how he was in denial. I used to think of that when Claire was small, how she would always remain a child in my mind and I could see that in Jacob. He had asked me a few years back how I was living without her, how I didn't just try to find her and give in. Jacob couldn't stand being away from Nessie for a day and that's how I used to be too. I told him that maybe my wolf assumed she was dead and I was barely surviving. Maybe the pack needed me and that's why I couldn't go to her. I had all these theories but deep down I was waiting for her. I didn't have the right to find her and I could still feel her, which was why I was living. The ache in my heart was an indication that she was alive and that maybe just maybe I would see her by chance. Maybe I would meet her in a coffee shop and it could be like I had never met her when she was three and I was seeing her for the first time then.

Nessie noticed my musings and touched my arm. She showed me her wild night out and how angry Jacob was when he found her. I laughed in response and shook my head, she had it bad for Jacob and he had no idea.

…

It was a sunny day in La Push and the entire gang, retired and new went to the beach. I didn't want to come and work instead but Seth ordered for me to come. It was a beautiful day and I could hear all the gangs kids giggling and splashing in the water. I tried to not remember the times I would bring her here, she loved to swim and would use me as her very own floatie.

I swam for a bit but then decided I should probably start cooking the burgers or we would have a pack of hungry wolves.

I had started the grill at a park attached to the beach. Emily decided to keep me company with her youngest, Noah who was sleeping in her arms.

"Hey Quil, your phone keeps ringing I thought I would bring it over"

I checked and I had one missed call from Mom and two from Tayla. I called Tayla back first and waited for her to answer.

"Hello"

"Tayla, you called?"

"Yeah I just wanted to let you know that I'm in Seattle with Mom now, she has to go back tomorrow for work while I apartment hunt, did you have free time today?"

Emily was looking at me questioningly and I mouthed Mom, she nodded in understanding.

"Would you guys want to come to La Push beach, we have burgers grilling and an amazing beach"

I heard Tayla ask mom.

"Okay we'll be there soon. See you then?"

"Do you know how to get here?"

"Mom remembers"

"You'll spot us easily, we're the biggest family here"

…

Two hours had passed since Tayla called and I was contemplating calling and asking if they were lost. It did take a while from Seattle to La Push and I had already arranged for them to stay with me. I needed extra linens from Emily, which she said she would happily provide. Everyone had eaten and I had to save some for mom and Tayla. I fought with the pups over food and they decided to order pizza since they weren't completely full.

I saw a rental car pull in from the distance but I felt a pang in my chest. I held my chest and Emily stood up worried, she screamed for Sam when I doubled over. Seeing the scene, I saw mom run out of the car but I was overwhelmed with pain I didn't understand it. I was aware of my surroundings but I couldn't respond.

She stepped out of the car with a worried look on her face, it was her …but it couldn't be. She had long brown hair now and the greenest of eyes. Sam came over but with whatever power I had in me I pushed myself up and ran to her. Our eyes locked and I felt like I could breathe again, after all this time I could live again. I knew that if I saw her even once, I wouldn't be able to leave… looking at her now I didn't want to leave. Her eyes widened as I stepped closer to her and embraced her in a hug. I couldn't help myself but maybe she would understand, maybe she would know who I was too.

"Claire" I has said her name for the first time in years and I could cry from relief.

Claire didn't move and I felt Sam rip me away from her.

Everyone was confused and it was Tayla who spoke up first.

"Umm what is going on?"

I heard Emily gasp behind me, she had seen her too so I wasn't crazy.

"Claire is that you?"

Claire's mouth open and shut several times.

"Uhh… yes?"

Emily ran forward and hugged her too, which made me seem less weird I guess. Emily cried into Claire's shoulder and I felt myself slowly losing control. I was so angry with myself, or was it my wolf? I had lived without her for so long and I had missed so much. She had found me because I was the wimp who couldn't.

Sam pushed me away and I tried to fight him but I knew I couldn't phase infront of everyone and I was about to. I couldn't control how my body was shaking and shivering, I was in pain for so long I was in shock. My body couldn't even interpret my imprint being near as a good thing.

All of a sudden my shaking stopped, Claire had moved past Emily and was staring intently at me.

Emily sensing this and everyone's unease stood between us.

"Claire I'm your Aunt Emily… We're all in shock that you're here, we weren't expecting you and I'm so happy to see you".

Claire's eyes were still on me, she was trying to read me… her big doe eyes were still the same, innocent … unaware.


	4. Part 4

**And We're back to Claire's POV. Hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I've been a little MIA but won't be giving up on this story.**

 **Okay So I noticed I keep spelling Tayla's name wrong. To confirm, its TAYLA, not TALYA… this is more of a note to my self.**

 **VK**

 **Part 4**

After a night of restless sleep, I was awoken by my phone ringing.

"This better be important"

"Its 12pm get out of bed lazy ass" Tayla was one of those annoying morning people, I on the other hand was not.

"I have no work today, couldn't you let me sleep Jesus woman"

"No, come over we need to plan our trip to Seattle for apartment hunting"

I had forgotten about that, we would leave for Seattle in a few days but I had yet to tell my mom.

Dad was being evasive and I didn't trust him enough to tell him I was going for a short trip. My game plan was to tell my mom the night before, which meant I would be packed and would spend the night at Tayla's so we could go to the airport together in the morning.

The days went by quicker than I could imagine and before I knew it I was packed and sitting across from mom. I wasn't nervous, I knew what I was doing and she couldn't stop me.

"I got offered a full scholarship at the university of Washington and I'm going"

We were eating dinner as a family, mom dropped her fork and her eyes flashed at me.

"UCLA is the perfect school for you, you don't have to worry about your tuition"

Her tone was clipped.

"Mom I had so many surgeries as a child how exactly are we affording UCLA… it's not even that the program in Washington is the best in the country and I was accepted mom. I worked so hard to get in"

"You're not going Claire and that's the end of it, isn't that right honey?" she added looking at dad. Dad looked uneasy and shrugged, mum looked at him with so much fury, I'd never seen her this angry. Before they could start their fights about me, I stood up from my chair very loudly.

"I am going mum, get it through your head. I don't even know why you're so angry you should be proud of me… do you know how hard it was to get into? Do you even care about what I want to do? You told me to aim high my entire life and now that I am you can't stop me… I'm leaving to apartment hunt with Tayla, I'll see you in a few days"

I could feel myself shaking and the tears coming but I didn't want to show weakness infront of her, she had to see my resolution so I tried to walk away. She roughly grabbed my arm and started yelling at me.

"YOU CAN NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT PLACE"

Her face was painted red, dad got up too and this time held her arm, pulling her away from me.

I wiped at my eyes… why was she this crazy? Why did she need to control everything?

"IF YOU LEAVE NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME TO COME BACK TO"

I was shocked, I knew she was angry but I couldn't understand her.

"Well mom, you taught me that sometimes we have to be selfish for the greater good or some other bullshit, I'm taking notes from your book… I'm being selfish for my future… If I have no home, so be it"

I had intended for my words to hurt and they did, I could see it in her eyes.

I didn't wait to hear her response or her arguing with dad, I grabbed my bags and drove to Tayla's. I heard her protests as I closed the door behind me but I didn't care to listen. I felt suffocated and I felt the heavy weight lift off my shoulders… I told myself I was being selfish for the right reasons and I didn't need to feel guilt but a part of me wished I had her blessing.

…..

The trip to Seattle was shorter than I expected, and no I didn't magically combust for disobeying my parents like they always told me. We were in our hotel room, getting ready to head out to the beach. Tayla knocked into my hip as she tried to hog the mirror while we got ready. I kicked her back and before we knew it we were laughing and I tackled Tayla until she screamed "Uncle! Uncle! I tap out".

Her mum walked by and laughed at us, "will I ever see the day you two become ladies".

She jabbed at us light-heartedly but I could see the nervousness in her eyes. We were going to meet her son for a day at the beach and I could see what Tayla had meant about their relationship. I was proud of my best friend for letting this happen. I was still squishing her underneath me, "you're pretty cool for letting this happen T".

"Yeah bitch I know I'm cool"

I rolled my eyes at her and we left shortly after. We had a one and a half hour drive to the beach and Mrs. Callum was directing us. She looked at the roads wistfully, I could see now that she left a part of her here and that's why Tayla did all this, she knew. I was envious of their mother -daughter relationship, Mrs Callum let her daughters see her pain and understand it. My mom always shut me out, never letting me see her. Sometimes at nights she would come to my room and tuck me in again, she did this all the time and I acted like I was asleep. I never understood why she never did it when I was awake, was I the one who put the distance or was it her?

I was pulled out of my musings by the lush green landscapes, I rolled the window down to breathe in the fresh smell of nature. Something about this place just made me feel so serene and at ease.

"Where are we going exactly?"

Mrs Callum turned to look at me from the front seat.

"Down to the Rez, to the beach there"

I held in a breath. It didn't occur to me that I had family here… family I didn't really remember or know.

"I was born there you know"

Surprise masked Mrs Callum's expression, I guess I had never mentioned it to her especially since I didn't know that she once lived here.

"Really, your mum never mentioned that"

I nodded.

"She doesn't like to remember here, I haven't been back since I was seven"

Mrs Callum opened and closed her mouth.

"So you have family here?"

"Yes but I don't know them, mom never kept in touch"

"This place is a small place Claire. It wouldn't take much to find them"

I knew she was right but I felt hesitant for some reason, did I want to betray my mom like this? She was still my mom and I knew she would hate me to see her family, the ones she left behind.

"I have an aunt, her name's Emily and she's married to a guy named Sam"

"Sam Uley?"

"Y…yes" I answered tentatively now.

"I've never met Emily but I know Sam, he was a little boy when I knew him but he was a really good kid"

A part of me was annoyed that a stranger knew my own family better than I did but I continued staring at Mrs Callum wide eyed. She was so close to me all this time and she had a connection to my family. I could see it in her eyes aswell, the surprise.

"This is wack… small ass towns creep me out. Mom knows your relatives! Damn!"

Trust Tayla to tell it how it is.

I stared out the window, hoping that I could remember these places but everything was a blur as we drove past. I felt a pang in my chest, kind of like my heart was skipping a beat. I touched my heart and it stopped hurting momentarily.

"I see them over there", added Mrs Callum.

Tayla parked and as I reached over to open my door, the pain in my chest came back. I was rubbing my heart again but this time I was feeling breathless. As I slowly got out of the car, I could hear commotion.

My eyes met with him… he looked familiar and he was in pain.

He was tall, built and dark. I felt my heart doing that thing again but all I wanted was to know who this man was before me because I couldn't understand my feelings. I felt pain, happiness, anger, resentment… so many emotions as I stared but all I wanted was to comfort him. His eyes stayed on me as he doubled over in pain. He stood up within seconds and I had the wind knocked out of me when he embraced me. I instantly smelt the saltiness of the ocean on him and felt warmth. I couldn't see his expression but as he embraced me, I felt too many emotions I couldn't comprehend. He was ripped away from me before I could take a good look at him but I saw his hazel eyes… they looked familiar. I heard Mrs Callum look at him and it made sense, he had her eyes and so did Tayla.

He said my name… he knew my name.

I tried to remember him but I was distracted by the pain in my chest. He averted my eyes and took off before I could even form a coherent thought. A man ran after him but I was too transfixed on him to notice the crowd that had gathered.

"Claire is that you?"

A soft voice spoke but my eyes were still on that man who had ran away from me.

"Uhh yes" I answered and faced the woman who has asked me. I took in a shaky breath.

"I'm your Aunt Emily… We're all in shock that you're here, we weren't expecting you and I'm so happy to see you"."

She didn't have to tell me though I knew who she was. Her and mom looked so much alike, except for the scars that marked Emily's face. I feel her tears as she embraced me and cried into my shoulder. Her eyes held so much warmth when she looked at me and I remembered mum used to look at me like that. I rarely showed affection but she was the aunt I didn't know I missed until I saw her, so I hugged her back with all my heart.

We held each other for a while until she pulled me back again and stared into my tearful face. She tenderly took my face in her hands.

"How did you get here Claire, is Sarah here too?"

I shook my head. I didn't know what to tell her… how could I explain that I had missed the warmth of this place, of her and that man, if I didn't remember them. I was a child when I left, too young to remember anything but I felt right here. Not complete, but right, almost as if I was meant to be here.

….

We didn't stay at the beach after that. Tayla drove Mrs Callum, Aunt Emily and I back to her house. I didn't let go of her for a second, snuggling up to her. Aunt Emily looked amused while Tayla looked at me like I had grown another head.

"Mom that was Quil right? Why did he take off like that?"

I felt Emily tense. Mrs Callum nodded, unable to find her voice. She looked a little shell-shocked and I saw something in her expression I couldn't understand.

His name was Quil. My chest ached again. I rubbed the same spot for the tenth time today, concern flickered in Emily's eyes.

After directing Tayla around we made it to her house. I stepped out of the car and I held my breath. There was a massive tree with a swing and a long drive way that lead to a medium sized house. It was beautiful and surrounded by the woods. I felt tears brimming in my eyes because I recognised that swing but I couldn't picture it. I knew this place and was suddenly angry at my mom from taking us away from here. I could picture my younger self spending hours at this place, running in the woods and then coming home to Aunt Emily's secret cakes.

We sat on the porch because I couldn't take my eyes off the big tree and the swing.

"Claire bear we missed you so much"

Tayla and Mrs Devon had given us some privacy, the were walking around the property. My eyes rose at the mention of the nickname… that's what was written on my photo too.

"Sorry, it's hard to forget you aren't a little girl anymore"

I let out a laugh at that, it seemed that everyone just saw a tiny, cancer riddled child whenever they looked at me. I reminded myself that Aunt Emily could see me that way, after all she never saw my recovery with her own eyes.

"It's okay, seems that everyone forgets that"

She arched her eyebrow, looking at me to continue talking.

"I came here for apartment hunting in Seattle actually, I'll be going to University of Washington in a few months"

"But…"

"Sarah planned for me to go to UCLA, she wasn't happy with my choice and we had a falling out"

Emily took in a deep breath. I didn't know what I was expecting her to say but "I'm sorry" definitely wasn't what I expected.

"It's not really about you or Seattle, she hates that she can't micromanage my life anymore"

Aunt Emily sighed deeply and she looked upset.

"What do you mean by 'falling out' Claire?"

"What happened between you two that would make her hate here and you so much?" I was trying to avoid her question and she knew it.

"I'll answer your question but I expect you to answer mine. We had a disagreement about my choices. We weren't exactly on the best terms anyway, she didn't like that I was with Sam and then we argued a lot about you."

"Me?" I heard the surprise in my voice.

"She wanted to leave the La Push so you could have a better future, I disagreed with her"

I knew it couldn't be that simple, you wouldn't completely cut out your only sister just for that reason… that was too much, even for Sarah. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. I didn't want to say it out loud, afraid that Aunt Emily would detest me for my choices. I didn't feel what I did was wrong but I knew that I should've left on better terms.

"She told me I wouldn't have a home to come back to if I left"

Aunt Emily hugged me to her.

"She's just afraid Claire, she didn't mean it"

I shake my head.

"No offence Aunt Emily but you haven't seen her in over ten years, she's changed a lot and she really did mean it"

"Claire, I'm not saying what she did was right but in her eyes all she has is you… she thinks she's protecting you in her own way"

I could see her reasoning but she didn't know how suffocating Sarah's behaviour was. We never spoke like this and I most certainly never hugged her anymore. I hated that our relationship was like this, I wanted to hug and laugh with her, tell her about my dreams and aspirations but she never wanted to know, she just wanted things her way.

"Actually I forced her to give me a sister, the little devil is six"

"Really?" I saw hurt in her eyes. I guess she expected my dad to tell her.

"I know you called every year on my birthday, but 'incidentally' I was never there to talk to you"

I gestured air quotes when I said incidentally and that made Emily laugh half-heartedly, she looked genuinely upset about Luna and I could understand why.

"What you did was brave Claire. It might not mean much to you but I'm proud of you, how strong you are… you always were you know. When you were sick…"She looked up at me, I could see she was trying to gauge if this was a sore topic, I nodded at her.

"…you were so small but you were so strong. You would tell the nurses and doctors off if they didn't give you lollipops and you never showed us how much you really hurt because you wanted to protect your mom, dad and Qu…" She cut herself off and we were interrupted by a small van driving into the property.

"That'll be your uncle Sam and cousins"

She was giddy with excitement and she pulled me with her towards the minivan. The first one out of the van was the man who ran after Quil and who I knew I remembered. Uncle Sam walked around the van and gave a tight hug while Aunt Emily opened the sliding door for the kids. He was enormous and strong but had the softest eyes. He looked at me with such happiness it startled me.

"Claire bear you've grown too much"

We were interrupted by a little boy who clinged to my leg. I looked down and saw the reflection of Luna, who looked just like Sarah and Emily.

"That's our youngest Noah"

I picked him up and he gave me the biggest, sloppiest kiss. He made me realise how much I missed Luna, she probably felt abandoned by me. I grinned at him and looked over at three other boys standing shyly.

"This is Junior, Aaron and Cameron". Junior was the older one, followed by twins, they looked about 10 and 7. They were the perfect mix of Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam, with the exception of Noah who was the spitting image of Emily. I noticed that we all had similar looking features, like our noses and hair, except I had lighter looking features since I looked like Tom so much.

We all headed inside with Noah still attached to me, Tayla and Mrs Callum joining us.

Tayla was introducing herself to Sam and asked, "Where's Quil? We aren't here for very long, it would be nice to see him"

I was listening to them, wanting to know when I could see him again… I had to see him, I had to figure him out.

Mrs Callum nudged Tayla.

"Ouch woman"

"Go help Emily in the kitchen, she said she would bring some refreshments"

Tayla groaned but still listened.

Noah was watching me intently, his big doe eyes staring at me as he sat on my lap.

"Hi there little guy"

The other three boys were sitting near us too, watching me intently. I smiled at them and they all looked away, shy that they had been caught staring.

"Boys quit staring at your cousin and you…"Emily pointed at Uncle Sam "call Seth, tell him Claire's here".

Seth? Another name I didn't remember. Aunt Emily must have seen my confusion.

"Seth used to hang around here a lot Claire, you used to force him and Quil to play with you"

She mentioned Quil and I saw my opening.

"Is Quil coming too?" I tried to make my voice sound as aloof as possible, hoping she wouldn't hear the desperation in my voice.

She looked conflicted. Mrs Callum had an unreadable expression.

"He wouldn't miss seeing you for the world"


End file.
